"Did you see that ludicrous display the other night?"
This is how most of the conversations I had started last week but myself and my friends weren't talking about the football. We were talking about Doctor Who.
Ah yes. Good old reliable Doctor Who. A staple of sci-fi TV and a show that when it's good, it's amazing, and when it's bad, it's just disappointing. It doesn't actually make you angry or upset, you just know it's capable of better and feel a little let down. Well...that's how we USED to feel. However, over the past 12 months Doctor Who fans have been truly tested and I'm not talking about the whiny idiots who don't think a woman should play a time travelling alien whose main attributes including completely re-writing their DNA (get a grip lads).
No, I'm talking about this shaved watervole disguising himself as an area manager for Greggs. Chris Chibnall.
Ah yes. Good old reliable Doctor Who. A staple of sci-fi TV and a show that when it's good, it's amazing, and when it's bad, it's just disappointing. It doesn't actually make you angry or upset, you just know it's capable of better and feel a little let down. Well...that's how we USED to feel. However, over the past 12 months Doctor Who fans have been truly tested and I'm not talking about the whiny idiots who don't think a woman should play a time travelling alien whose main attributes including completely re-writing their DNA (get a grip lads).
No, I'm talking about this shaved watervole disguising himself as an area manager for Greggs. Chris Chibnall.
Chris took over as showrunner from Steven "Oh God, we realise how petty we were, come back! We forgive you" Moffat back in 2016. Since then he has shook up the franchise with his ideas, not all of them have hit the bullseye but it didn't really matter as long as he didn't damage Doctor Who canonically, which is stupid to even think that would happen because apparently this guy LOVES Doctor Who.
Yes, this is true! Chris was into Doctor Who before it was even considered 'cool' (is it still cool?). Chibnall is a long-time fan, and appeared on the BBC discussion programme 'Open Air' in 1986 as a representative of the Doctor Who Appreciation Society, criticising the quality of 'The Trial of a Time Lord', a storyline that played with the idea that the Doctor had an evil regeneration knocking about in his future. Given what he's written up to now he's got a fucking nerve complaining about that. So when we had our series finale this year, revealing The Doctor's true origin, that they weren't Gallifreyan, that they were never limited by their regenerations, that their entire life and history of the show was a lie...we started to become more than let down. We became angry.
Yes, this is true! Chris was into Doctor Who before it was even considered 'cool' (is it still cool?). Chibnall is a long-time fan, and appeared on the BBC discussion programme 'Open Air' in 1986 as a representative of the Doctor Who Appreciation Society, criticising the quality of 'The Trial of a Time Lord', a storyline that played with the idea that the Doctor had an evil regeneration knocking about in his future. Given what he's written up to now he's got a fucking nerve complaining about that. So when we had our series finale this year, revealing The Doctor's true origin, that they weren't Gallifreyan, that they were never limited by their regenerations, that their entire life and history of the show was a lie...we started to become more than let down. We became angry.
I'm not going to go into that now but what Chibnall had somehow done was show he may be a fan of the show but he certainly didn't have any understanding of it! Doctor Who (from when Russell T Davies took over) is a tale of the last of their species, a species so old they were there at the dawn of time itself and evolved certain powers because of their link to the time vortex they lived next to. An alien who had spent most of their life running from their people, their ways and their home, is now left looking for one. A madman/woman in a box wishing they could go back. All that, and everything that came before it, is in complete tatters because Chibnall wanted to follow his fan-fic fantasies that he had drawn up in his head in the 80's. Again, I won't go too far into this (I'll save it for a podcast maybe) but 'The Timeless Child' put himself in mine and many others firing line. Coming up with a story that undermines nearly 60 years of lore, only for us AND the Doctor to be repeatedly told it doesn't change who they are...what was the point? Literally no consequences or character development? The only victims are the fans and the years of storytelling that has been unwritten? Brilliant.
But what happened on the New Year's special showed not only a complete lack of understanding of the character and the show, but that he hadn't even been paying attention to Doctor Who during the Moffat run, a run that he was writing inconsequential episodes for!
But what happened on the New Year's special showed not only a complete lack of understanding of the character and the show, but that he hadn't even been paying attention to Doctor Who during the Moffat run, a run that he was writing inconsequential episodes for!
1. Why does no one remember the Daleks? |
Everything wrong with 'Revolution of the Daleks'I hated this episode. Nearly everything about this was just backwards. Even the episode title sucks. And if you think about it the title has very little to do with the plot. In fact when you think hard about a lot of things in this episode, it makes little sense. So strap in, if you've not watched it yet, get ready for spoilers galore!
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Not even including all the times Daleks were on Earth in classic Doctor Who, since the revival of the show by Russell T Davies, the Daleks have been on Earth on a near global scale multiple times. Just 12 years ago Davros has literally stole the Earth and had Daleks invade it, committing mass genocide. In fact the UK has seen them more than any other country, the Battle of Canary Wharf saw both Daleks and Cybermen take over London! So why in Gallifrey's name would 'Donald the Trump' Robertson, the Prime Minister and the entire UK population NOT recognise Daleks!? In fact because we haven't seen the "Fam" have a run in with an ACTUAL Dalek ('Resolution' has an organic one that makes its own slap dash casing), Chibnall squeezes a scene at the beginning where we see the end of an adventure involving a proper one, clearly because he also doesn't believe any companion would recognise them. Of course they would! It was only 12 years ago! You think if the SS marched through France in 1957 no one would clock them? I still can't tell if this is laziness, stupidity, or a complete lack of respect for the viewer.
2. A Secret that doesn't need keepingA conflict between the characters is that The Doctor has been gone for 10 months, but for The Doctor it's been decades, 20 years she's been locked up and in her quick escape that is thrust upon her, she lands 10 months after she left them. The "Fam" are upset she's been gone so long with no explanation and rightly so because when she gets back, other than quickly saying she had been in "Space Jail"...she never explains that it's been 20 years for her. Nor does Jack. This is NEVER revealed to them. Why keep this secret?
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They're all reasonable people and are only at conflict because they think she's actively avoided them for 10 months. A simple "I was in jail for 20 years. When we escaped, I set the co-ordinates and they brought me here and now. I'm sorry it's been that long for you but it's been even longer for me." would clear EVERYTHING up. Instead this festers and adds to the idea that Ryan and Graham should leave. It made no sense to hide it from them, let alone let it cause the problems it did. "The Doctor lies" is a quote often said yet, only to stop people getting hurt and to help The Doctor. This lie did neither.
3. 4 minutes to Osaka
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I don't think I have to type much here. Simply put The Doctor realises her friends are in Osaka and need help. She sets the co-ordinates aaaaand...then tells Ryan it will be 4 minutes until they land. Fancy a cuppa and a chinwag?
THAT'S NOT HOW THE TARDIS WORKS!! She is travelling within the same timeframe. She isn't going Osaka in 1873 (like that would make any difference), she's merely going from one side of the Earth to the other. It's one reason we never explore the TARDIS much. There is no reason for downtime in a TIME MACHINE! |
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Don't get me wrong, we've had conversations in it but that's been whilst The Doctor has been in the time vortex deciding where/when to go. Not on the way. I found this to be bizarre and highlight how little Chibnall actually knows about the show and HOW everything works. At this point he comes across as a guy who has a Che Guevara poster but has no idea who the dude on his wall actually is.
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4. The Doctor's plan involves killing a TARDISIn order to save the day The Doctor conjours up a plan with a few issues. For starters she wants to lure all The Daleks into the spare TARDIS she was given by a version of herself in the last series. When the Daleks get in the TARDIS, she instructs it to fold in on itself and send all remnants to 'The Void'. Bit of a problem here as The Doctor sees/knows the TARDIS is alive, and is in love with her.
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That TARDIS is the same TARDIS he stole, just from a different point in his timeline. He has such a strong connection with the TARDIS/her/"Sexy" that during 'Journey's End', when the TARDIS is sent to burn in the centre-core of the crucible, Davros exclaims that he knows that Doctor can "Feel" it dying. Can Chibnall explain to me why The Doctor would not even think twice about destroying the TARDIS like she did? No emotion, no explanation, the TARDIS just quickly became a weapon/plot device and nothing more. I'd hate to be Chibnall's partner,
"There's only 2 parachutes."
"But there's only 2 of us Chris!"
*Jumps holding both parachutes*
"Hahaha! Classic Chibnall awaaaaaay!"
"There's only 2 parachutes."
"But there's only 2 of us Chris!"
*Jumps holding both parachutes*
"Hahaha! Classic Chibnall awaaaaaay!"
5. The Doctor's plan involves killing people
"[Inside their armour is] a nightmare. It's a mutation. The Dalek race was genetically engineered. Every single emotion was removed except hate." - The Doctor - 'Dalek' 2005
The Doctor's "nuclear" plan involves bringing pure Daleks to Earth to hunt down the mutated Daleks. One small issue...that's not all they'd kill. They kill anything in their way on a GOOD day. To think they would selectively avoid killing any humans they encountered on their mission/quest is naive at best. They have no sympathy, no conscience, no sense of right or wrong. If it ain't Dalek, it's dead. I mean they are literally on Earth to kill anything that isn't 100% Dalek. You think as Ginny from Toxteth runs past it will stop and evaluate whether it's worth killing her or crack on? No. Some people will have died at the hands of pure Daleks patrolling Earth, and even one death on the conscience of The Doctor is one too many.
And before you ask, actually there was a way to stop them all without that stupid plan. All the Daleks teleported into their shells. Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow. Obviously.
The Doctor's "nuclear" plan involves bringing pure Daleks to Earth to hunt down the mutated Daleks. One small issue...that's not all they'd kill. They kill anything in their way on a GOOD day. To think they would selectively avoid killing any humans they encountered on their mission/quest is naive at best. They have no sympathy, no conscience, no sense of right or wrong. If it ain't Dalek, it's dead. I mean they are literally on Earth to kill anything that isn't 100% Dalek. You think as Ginny from Toxteth runs past it will stop and evaluate whether it's worth killing her or crack on? No. Some people will have died at the hands of pure Daleks patrolling Earth, and even one death on the conscience of The Doctor is one too many.
And before you ask, actually there was a way to stop them all without that stupid plan. All the Daleks teleported into their shells. Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow. Obviously.
6. This had "Showrunner" written...nowhere on it actually
This is a small gripe and not that important but given as we're literally standing over the beaten body of an episode right now, I may as well do the right thing, smack the head with a shovel and put it out it's misery. Even if we forgive all these plot points, the episode was poorly executed on so many levels. Take the first 5 minutes. Why did the PM know where the lorry driver would stop for tea? Why did the PM kill someone? Why did the chained up Dalek change positions from when they shut the door to when they opened it in the next scene? The continuity errors and plot holes were abundant throughout, it read and played out like a first draft, most of Jack's lines were recycled and this was the showrunner's ONLY project this year! He wrote it and was the executive producer on it. He had all year to get it ready for New Year's Day. Why did it look like a fan made epis-oh...wait. That's the problem isn't it?
Chibnall is a fan and nothing more. He cannot write good episodes as his understanding of The Doctor is as stunted as any fan is, knowing only what THEY like about the show and not the show as a whole. Don't get me wrong, sometimes getting fans in works, look at The Mandalorian. Jon Favreau is a fan but he's a fan second. He's a writer and director first. Chibnall comes across as some guy re-writing the show in his own image of what HE would have done with it to begin with.
If the rumours are true, Jodie will be leaving at the end of this season and I would love to hear what she says after she leaves. Did she agree with everything he did? Is anyone saying 'no' to him when he pitches these ideas? Some people say she was the wrong pick and are unsure of her portrayal but I believe you're only as good as the writing. Jodie auditioned to play The Doctor, and I think she's ended up playing the lead in 'Chibnall's Imagination Adventures'. Merely another victim in the Chibnall massacre that is Doctor Who at the moment. Oh well, after undoing 60 years of character history, ballsing up the first female Doctor and shitting out an episode as bad as that one, it can't get any worse...
Chibnall is a fan and nothing more. He cannot write good episodes as his understanding of The Doctor is as stunted as any fan is, knowing only what THEY like about the show and not the show as a whole. Don't get me wrong, sometimes getting fans in works, look at The Mandalorian. Jon Favreau is a fan but he's a fan second. He's a writer and director first. Chibnall comes across as some guy re-writing the show in his own image of what HE would have done with it to begin with.
If the rumours are true, Jodie will be leaving at the end of this season and I would love to hear what she says after she leaves. Did she agree with everything he did? Is anyone saying 'no' to him when he pitches these ideas? Some people say she was the wrong pick and are unsure of her portrayal but I believe you're only as good as the writing. Jodie auditioned to play The Doctor, and I think she's ended up playing the lead in 'Chibnall's Imagination Adventures'. Merely another victim in the Chibnall massacre that is Doctor Who at the moment. Oh well, after undoing 60 years of character history, ballsing up the first female Doctor and shitting out an episode as bad as that one, it can't get any worse...
