IT'S NO SECRET, I'M NOT A FAN OF EZRA MILLER...
Ever since Ezra wandered into our nerdy screens, I've never understood the Miller Train's rise in popularity. The actor is easily the worst part of the 'Fantastic Beasts' franchise (and that's saying something), and when they were crowned as the comic relief in previews for the Justice League film, I felt myself wondering... had I forgotten what counted as humour nowadays. In the trailers, in the JOSSTICE cut, and in the SNYDER cut, they're as funny as filling in any government issued paperwork. In fact I've never spoken to a DC fan who did like Ezra or find their take on the character even remotely 'good'.
So when they allegedly and seemingly unprovokingly decided to choke a fan in REYKJAVIK back in 2020, I thought that would be it. I voiced this in one of our episodes of TALK NERDY TO ME. After all, bigger stars have been cancelled for less. But no. Apparently like one of Amber Heard's "Grumpys" in Johnny Depp's bed, this was largely ignored by Warner Bros and they allowed Ezra to keep their job as "the world's fastest man". But as The Flash knows, you can't run away from everything, and soon this unchecked habit of bad behaviour of Ezra's has began to catch up with them.
So when they allegedly and seemingly unprovokingly decided to choke a fan in REYKJAVIK back in 2020, I thought that would be it. I voiced this in one of our episodes of TALK NERDY TO ME. After all, bigger stars have been cancelled for less. But no. Apparently like one of Amber Heard's "Grumpys" in Johnny Depp's bed, this was largely ignored by Warner Bros and they allowed Ezra to keep their job as "the world's fastest man". But as The Flash knows, you can't run away from everything, and soon this unchecked habit of bad behaviour of Ezra's has began to catch up with them.
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"US actor Ezra Miller has been arrested after allegedly assaulting a woman in Hawaii.
The Fantastic Beasts star threw a chair at the woman, leaving her with a cut to her forehead, according to police. Miller was arrested in the early hours of Tuesday morning for second-degree assault at a private property in Pahoa on Hawaii's Big Island, after reports of the attack. It's the second time the 29-year-old has been arrested in recent weeks." |
The whispers in HOLLYWOOD are getting louder now. It appears that they're forcing the hand of WARNER BROS to replace them. THE FLASH still hasn't finished filming and we know it's about the multiverse, so why does it have to be about DC's main continuity Flash? Another Flash could easily trigger all the events that are rumoured to happen in the film. So why keep Ezra? Let's just recast them, get the film out and then go on living our lives with a new reset DC universe. A nice blank slate that allows more films like JOKER and THE BATMAN. Here are some suggestions from me, you can have these on me WARNER BROS.
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GRANT GUSTINYou already have a very popular FLASH in the mainstream eye, DC. And his name could be a comic book character's name! Grant has been playing Barry Allen now since 2013. He's certainly earned his speedforce stripes by keeping the CW show THE FLASH going for 8 seasons.
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He's likeable, he has experience in multiverse scenarios, and has even met the main continuity DC Flash, so you can definitely link him in using the footage you have from that:
He also has no criminal record in Hawaii.
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JOHN WESLEY SHIPPThe first actor to get to play the live action scarlet speedster in his own show. A few donned the suit before him in terrible old, hokey shows but John was the first to get his own series in 1990.
So celebrated is John for his portrayal, that he got to slap on the red spandex again for the CW as he played OG Flash - Jay Garrick, and Henry Allen, so the dude has a good history of playing multiple versions of the character, what better time than now to bring him in? Also imagine him opposite Keaton! That would definitely get some fanboys bums in the seats. To put it bluntly, this man IS the Flash to a lot of people, so why not lean into it and give the man the credit he deserves for flying the Flash flag for so long. Even back in 1990 when literally nothing was cool. |
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BARRY KEOGHANDon't lie. You can't tell the difference between him and Ezra either.
Easily one of the better parts of The Eternals and the exciting new Joker in THE BATMAN, Barry is going places and why shouldn't he use that rising tide to become the new Flash too? It wouldn't be too jarring to think he's the same Flash from the previous films as literally no-one can tell the difference between them, so it saves on writing, and if someone says he looks a bit like the Joker, you can just shrug and say "Multiverse." |
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MICHAEL J FOXHear me out! For starters if you're wondering about his age, why worry? Have you not seen what we can do now? We're living in a world where Samuel L Jackson, Stan Lee, Kurt Russell and RDJ can be made to look like they were in their twenties. We could definitely do it with the amount of footage we have of him. Also Adam West and Christopher Reeve are rumoured to be appearing in this film so it would be kinda hypocritical to say he's too old to play the part when some of the cast are literal corpses.
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Also remember, The Flash would need to do a load of reshoots if they recast Barry. Who has the greatest history of doing that better than anyone? Michael J Fox, bay-bay! In case you didn't know, BACK TO THE FUTURE didn't have him as their lead, and there is rumoured to be a nearly full movie starring the originally cast MARTY MCFLY, Eric Stoltz.
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Eric wasn't some chair chucker in Hawaii though. He just genuinely didn't get the direction of the film. Michael came in and breathed life into the role. With his charm, comedy timing, sometimes sarcastic tone and humourous quips, not forgetting his history with messing with timelines in movies, he is more than over qualified to do this. And I'm not biased at all in this decision *covers DeLorean tattoo*.
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MICHAEL KEATONThe second Michael on this list. And you may think I'm taking the Michael here but let's be honest; he is the only reason you were thinking of watching this film anyway. So why not give him both roles? Why can't there be a multiverse where he is Barry Allen? Keaton can do no wrong and it would save on actors salaries too. Besides, have you ever seen the Nutty Professor?
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ROBERT THE TIRE FROM 'RUBBER'He meets all the same criteria that Ezra Miller does:
Criminal history? Check. Charisma and comedy timing of an old tyre? Check. Not Chris Pratt? Check. I don't even care. I would rather watch Robert than Ezra Miller. |